


The Marriage of True Minds

by Mara



Category: Pundit RPF (US)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 20:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel Maddow has a very special guest on her show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Marriage of True Minds

**Author's Note:**

> Oh lordy me, I don't write RPF. But bessemerprocess convinced me that writing Rachel doesn't count as RPF because she's a near-mythological force of awesomeness. And the other person is, uh, dead? As well as being nearly mythological and awesome.

Rachel glanced down at her notes and tried to decide if she was going to look even more of a fangirl than usual. Then she decided she didn't care.

"Tonight, the big news is the latest entrant into the GOP race to defeat President Obama. I know, with a slate that already includes the guy you don't want to Google and the guy who used to run a Mafia-themed pizza chain, there's some pretty stiff competition. But ladies and gentlemen, a few hours ago, Governor Rick Perry finally made up his mind and entered the race. And with us to discuss Gov. Perry is Molly Ivins, syndicated columnist and explainer of Texas politics to the rest of us for decades. Molly, thank you for coming on the show."

And on the screen, Molly appeared. A little grayer and a little more wrinkled than when she'd nearly died of cancer in 2007, but there she was. Rachel did her best not to bounce in her seat when Molly said "Thanks for having me, Rachel."

"So, Gov. Perry..." Rachel was pretty sure she had this bit memorized, but she knew better than to depend on her memory on-air, so she looked down. "In a recent column, you said 'Governor Goodhair is no more qualified to run the United States than I am to run the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan. Heck, I'm probably more qualified. After all these years watching the Lege, I'm an expert at tracking waste."

Molly laughed. "I stand by that. In fact, I think Rick Perry isn't qualified to run the state of Texas, but for some reason, the good people of my home state insist on electing him. We have a fondness for the dumb ones."

"Why is that? How does he convince people that things are getting better when they're actually getting worse?"

"The same way former Gov. Bush did: He sticks with God and guns. And once you got a bunch of Texas riled up about God and guns, you can point 'em whatever direction you want, even if that means straight downhill."

"Is that going to translate to the national scene? Or have we learned something from the disastrous Bush presidency?"

Molly paused. "It's hard to say. Voters in the rest of the country aren't necessarily as blind to the faults of Texans as those of us in the thick of it."

"But we did re-elect George W. Bush."

"Exactly. I think if Gov. Perry has an Achilles heel, it's not his ties to the religious right, which you've so ably pointed out time and again--"

"The 'Japanese emperors sleeping with sun gods' guy," Rachel said, grinning.

"And so many more, yes. But I think he's most vulnerable in his ties to bidness. He's so far in the pockets of the oil and real estate industries, he's somewhere below their wallets, a pack of gum, and some loose change." Molly grinned back.

Glancing down at her notes, Rachel nodded. "Follow the Money [lists his top campaign contributors between 2002 and 2010](http://www.followthemoney.org/press/ReportView.phtml?r=451) and the real estate industry alone gave him $6 million. And almost an equal amount from lawyers and lobbyists."

"Now, we Texans expect that kind of thing in our governor. If he's not in good with bidness, there must be something wrong with him. But I hope that voters elsewhere might be a bit more wary."

"Not to mention he's lied about economic growth in Texas."

"Not to mention that. And I think Gov. Perry would prefer I didn't mention that Texas's debt is growing so fast it's been mistaken for Louie Gohmert's strategic stupid reserve. Unfortunately for Gov. Perry, I plan to mention it as often as I can. As well as the money he's taken from Rupert Murdoch and other criminals."

"If you keep writing it, I'll keep reading it. Molly, thank you so much for joining me this evening. It's been a pleasure."

"Thank you for inviting me, Rachel. And keep on fightin' the good fight."

"You know I will." Rachel turned back to the camera. "Ladies and gentleman, Molly Ivins, a national treasure. When we come back, the best new thing in the world."

As televisions went to commercial, Rachel looked past the camera at her crew and laughed aloud. "I have the _best job ever._ "

**Author's Note:**

> I borrowed some of Molly's topics of criticism (although no actual text or jokes) from the blog of one [Juanita Jean, proprietor of the World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.](http://juanitajean.com/) I love that blog dearly and hope that no offense is taken that I used her posts for inspiration.


End file.
